The Power of Three

I become faced with three: my body, my soul and my shadow. Suspended in a place where time does not exist. 

For the first time I watched myself peel away from my body, weightless, untethered, drifting upward slowly. I see my home below, breathing but unmoving and above it my soul glows. Beyond my soul is my mirror. Reflecting not just my face but every version of me that has ever existed. 

A subtle pull guides me to my right, there is warmth, familiarity, the version of myself I have no trouble seeing. Yet I realize I've limited her to those around me. I recognize now that I need to open myself up to those I love, showing my feminine and nurturing side. My favorite flowers and most beloved fruit lean toward me, thirsty for my care in order to bloom. 

Surrender I tell myself. Surrender - to whatever needs to be spoken. To whatever truth waits like a seed beneath the soil.

As the warmth begins to thin & I am drawn to my left. I descend into the crevices of my skeleton. Devouring myself from the inside until only bones remain and the subtle lingering presence of darkness. 

As I go deeper I find versions of myself hidden in elaborate labyrinths. Finding parts of myself I've locked away for no one but myself to touch. It's cold and moist yet a current of knowing flows throughout my body. 

I feel myself in ways no one else could. Each singular tooth holds shape with purpose while I recognize the silent power my face carries. I feel organisms spilling outward from within me. As if the darkest parts of my soul are pouring from my mouth.

There is ecstasy while reaching, pulling, and devouring the masculine energy that consumes me. I find myself hidden in a cave, embraced in a hug of remembrance,  welcomed back by a version of myself I had long forgotten. It begins to consume me or perhaps I consume it. It bites me or rather I bite myself. The sensation blooms into a deep, wordless understanding. 

It is finally time. I crawl back into my bones and return whole with my body & soul. It is like watching maggots crawling backward, retreating into the hollow crevices of my bones, while time itself bends to stitch me back together.

I see all three and feel the quiet pleasure of becoming whole once again. 

So I ask you…where do you go to hide?